Undefeated After A Defeat

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So, to provide a brief update on my journey, I took another assessment a few days ago. I knew that I could have passed it, but I needed a few more days to grasp some of the concepts after getting behind too early in the curriculum. So, as a result, that means I will have to repeat everything I did for the past 3 weeks all over again from scratch for an additional 3 more weeks. 😔 As depressing as it may seem, it is re-establishing two truths that I already know, yet have become even more dear to me because of my failure:

  1. Embrace the process. There is beauty in the struggle. It is not about the destination, but the journey.
  2. If you stay ready, you ain’t gotta get ready…

It’s always foolish to learn hard lessons more than once when you don’t have to. Yet, I think it was good for me to have not succeeded so soon if it will change me into being a better version of myself for the rest of my life.  The usual way of thinking is to hurry through things so that you can get to the endgame as quickly as possible. But, many times, we should be thinking about the opposite. Taking it all in. One day at-a-time. Cherishing every painful moment and defeat, and seeing yourself go through a metamorphosis and seeing your own growth and transformation. That alone oft times is worth embarking on the journey altogether. This has taught me clearer than ever before that even 1 bad decision… 1 poor choice… can set you back days, or weeks, or even years.

I have grown quite comfortable with some of the people I have met in my cohort. While it hurts to see that some of the cohort-mates that I came in with will graduate ahead of me and we won’t celebrate together at the same time, I am reminded that I must run my own race, and that my story won’t be their story, nor is it intended to be.

My focus and resolve is renewed, and I am ready to finish strong. I want to leave you with this quote that really rocked me recently. Sometimes, you come across a quote from a prolific, historical person that, although you are very familiar with their body of work, something fantastic from their repertoire comes from out of the shadows and you say to yourself: “How’d I miss that one?” Well, this quote is one of them. Shoutout to a website I discovered within the last year that I really enjoy, which is where I got it from. It is from Maya Angelou:

“You see, we may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated. It may even be necessary to encounter the defeat, so that we can know who we are. So that we can see, oh, that happened, and I rose. I did get knocked down flat in front of the whole world, and I rose. I didn’t run away – I rose right where I’d been knocked down. And then that’s how you get to know yourself. You say, hmm, I can get up! I have enough of life in me to make somebody jealous enough to want to knock me down. I have so much courage in me that I have the effrontery, the incredible gall to stand up. That’s it. That’s how you get to know who you are.”

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