I Really Dislike Dirty Sinks

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Pretty nasty, huh? My pet peeve is to have a sink full of gross dishes that pile high all the way to the faucet. Why am I mentioning this? {Thanks for asking!} It’s because this sight is indicative of the demand an intensive coding school placed upon your life has and its effect on virtually everything in your personal, day-to-day life. I have hardly had time to do laundry, pay bills, go grocery shopping, run errands, clean around the house, etc. We haven’t even begun to cover personal relationships and leisure time yet (“leisure”…what does that word even mean? I don’t think that is in my vocabulary anymore….).

The point is that you have to really give your all with this endeavor. It’s not just that there is not enough time to do your daily checklist, it’s that even if you had a spare moment to cross something off of your list, you are so physically tired and mentally drained that you don’t wanna do anything else at all (even this blog post was intended to be written over a week ago). Yet, you are required to keep pushing because if you don’t, you might fall behind. Studying always needs to be done.

There’s code to review. There’s code to refactor. There’s new code to learn.

It’s a non-stop, ongoing thing. Once you are on the train, it does not stop moving until you get to your destination graduation.  This eventually creates this kind of mania in your head because you never really feel at ease or relaxed, especially with major tests/examinations/assessments hanging over your head (more on that later…). It grows into this tension between the need to keep grinding and pushing forward and the need to pay attention to your personal needs of self-care. Like stepping away from the computer, (even when doing so causes you to feel guilty because whatever you choose to do with the time makes you feel that it could have been better spent programming) getting sufficient sleep, thinking about a different subject, getting Vitamin D from the sun because you have spent an insane amount of hours sitting indoors hunched over a computer screen, taking time to dance, a moment to sing in the shower, a chance to enjoy nature and feel the breeze against your skin…all the things we take for granted when we are not singularly devoted to one dense topic that you often can’t even talk to family and/or friends about because they don’t/won’t understand.  It’s been reported that many students begin to even dream code because it takes up so much of their mental energies. You really do eat, sleep, drink code for weeks on end. This leads to letting yourself go. Bad hair days begin to pile up. Your waistline takes a hit because you begin cramming down unwholesome meals because there isn’t any time for shopping or cooking. You just recycle and repeat outfits (hey, it’s not like you are doing anything other than sitting in front of a screen all day anyway).

You have to fight for yourself. For your health. For your sanity.

That’s the reason that there is a pile of dirty dishes in the sink and it’s being connected to this storyline of mine. Maybe the Dish Fairy will hook me up while I’m sleeping and do something like this. Because anyone who knows me knows that this is unacceptable, but alas… I currently don’t have the mental or physical fortitude to put up a fight or to do anything else when I get home accept strip off my clothes, throw them on the floor, and climb into bed all in one smooth, continuous, uninterrupted motion… just to do it all over again in a few more hours in the morning.

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